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February 28, 2013

an apology, a rambling rant, and gorlog's beard

*thinking to Self* "Hmm. It's been a couple weeks since I posted last, hasn't it?"  

*checks date of last post*  "Oh.  A month and a half." 

*blink blink*


"Gorlog's beard." 

And I wasn't even dying or anything exciting like that.  Which is terribly disappointing.  Just think what an amusing story that would've been.  I'll probably die in a funny, or ironic, or just plain strange way.  Or maybe just really dumb.  But it hardly does one good to speculate too much on how one's demise shall come about.  And so I'll just apologize for not posting since we were all wee lassies and promise not to do it again this month.  (Note I said "...this month.")  But sometimes words just don't come.  Not the words I'd like to say.  Not the words I try to say.  Intelligent things that make sense, I mean.  I have a nearly unlimited store of nonsensical monkey monk monk rambles.  Which is exactly what you're going to get right now.  Just me.  Spewing randomosity.  Pure, unedited randomosity (well, not actually unedited.  That would be a disaster of catastrophic proportions, with no grammar and every other word misspelled.).  "Oh the excitement."

I think have a stalker ghost.  A stalker ghost that enjoys stealing the scissors that are supposed to stay in the feed shed so I don't have to chew through the baler twines (which I have never actually had to do, because I keep a pocket knife in my pocket.  Yes, I carry a knife with me.  I watch movies.  So I carry a knife.), making not-quite-normal cat noises outside my window at 2 am, and has a flair for pyrotechnics.  I had gone down my very long driveway to lock the gate a few nights ago, you see, and about 70 feet from where I was standing, fireworks started spurting from the middle of the neighbor's goat pasture.  And no one was there.  Not even the goats.  Well then.  Happy thoughts indeed.

Speaking of goats, this.  Brilliant, isn't?  And absolutely nothing to do with goats.  Or maybe Julian Fellowes is the goat.  He kinda looks it.  But goats aren't as mean as him.  He's a wretched brute, if you ask me.  (Oh, that was rude!  Is that what I am now?  Rude and not ginger.)  I can just hear the conversation he must have been having with himself.  (I am now about to give away major spoilers for series 3 of Downton Abbey. But since I, unlike Fellowes, am not evil, I'll put it in white text, so anyone who has seen series 3 can just highlight it to read it.)  "Oh I say!  Sybil's a deuced fine gehl.  I think it would jolly well if she were to agitate Lord & Lady Grantham by eloping with the chauffeur, who happens to be an Irish revolutionary, not to mention Catholic.  He's a deuced fine chap, that Branson.  Oh, I say!  I've just had the most smashing idea!  Let's crush his dreams and destroy his life by killing Sybil off in child birth.  Don't think that's ever been done before.  And now for Mary and Mathew.  I say, but they have had a time of it.  Only took them 8 years to get married.  Ah, Mathew.  A fine fellow if ever there was one.  Oh!  What if he were to go for a nice little drive through the sunny countryside and then WHAM hit him in the face with a truck?  What a fine lark that would be!"  
Which really isn't mean....more like, exceedingly stupid.  
By the by, did you ever notice that he played the Prince of Wales in The Scarlet Pimpernel
That whole ordeal with Downton was terrible.  Didn't make me sad.  Weeell, the first death did.  Because they were my favourite characters and now one's dead (and what a traumatic death it was!) and the other is in intense pain.  But the second bit just made me angry.  Because it was so stupid.  So stupid I laughed.  Call me cold and cruel, but yes, I laughed.  One has to blame the actor though, not Prince Goat for that.  He wanted to leave.  Which was jolly rotten of him.  But I hardly think he meant for his grande exit to quite like that.  He always struck me as wonderfully pleasant chap.  Ah well.  But however terrible that was, it wasn't as bad as having to get a new computer.  Which is exactly what we had to do last week.  Yes, our silly old twat of a computer decided to screw itself up for good.  And this new one?  I want to go build myself a time machine (I'm gonna try for a Doc Brown type model, as you can't build a TARDIS.  Only I wonder if I could make do with a bike or a horse, as I don't have a spare car lying about for my purposes.  A time travelling horse.  Why have I not thought of this sooner?) so I can go back to 1912 and duct tape it to the prow of the Titanic.  And then I'll collect the floaty bits and the pieces lodged in the iceberg and then get William Wallace to chop them up into smaller pieces.  After that, I'm going to go stuff them into the heart of Vesuvius and there going to blow up and no one will ever find it again.  Because it is evil.  And it hates me.  It brainwashed Picasa into a Wretched Minion of Stupid.  And sneakily lured all my magnificent fonts into a dark corner and brutally slaughtered them. It ate my poor little Gimpey Gimps whole, and what tortuous nastiness Photoscape fell victim to, I do not know.  And it has this really strange setup and a disgusting orange theme going on.  Looks like it was designed by some wackjob hippie Dalek.  It makes Four's scarf look pretty and a Cyberman seem friendly.  

And then the Pope resigned.  Which hasn't happened in 598 years.  Gorlog's beard.

And it's Lent.  Yay for Lent.  That magnificent time when people like me, who normally never want to cook or bake anything and just avoid the kitchen entirely unless they're scavenging for food someone else made, suddenly get the urge to bake cinnamon buns, cookies, and every sort of delectable thing.  (And why in bloody heck must there only ever be things like steak and and chicken and bacon in our fridge on Friday?)  Not that I really gave up anything and everything tasty, but one does try to have a little moderation. I did give up pinterest (apparently, I have 15,000+ pins.  Yes.  The pinterest thing must be given up.) and Doctor Who.  Stopped it right at the end of season 4.  Weeell, I guess the end of season 4 isn't actually the end of season 4.  The 2009 specials are, but there weren't included in the season 4 dvd set.  Why wold they not be included?  I don't get it.  There not just some sort of bonus episodes where nothing of consequence happens, there completely significant!  Season 4 ends with a very rain-soaked Ten flying away from Donna's house all by his lonesome, and then season 5 starts with a freshly-regenerated Eleven dangling out of a crashing TARDIS.  Not cool at all.  The gap I mean, not the dangling Doctor.  Not that him dangling is overly great either, but you know what I mean.  


You know what's great?  When you find the perfect song for a character.  Or someone else finds it and you just agree with them.  For instance, King & Lionheart by Of Monsters & Men for Merlin and Arthur.  That song is their song and no mistake.  And I have found that Fix You by Coldplay is totally for Guy of Gisbourne.  

By the way, I finished season 3. like, a month and a half ago, but obviously I haven't gurbled about it here yet, so I'm going to now. 
gosh. season 3.  Robin, what the heck?  why?  what's wrong with you? you are PATHETIC.  pathetic but still awesome.  Kate, why did you have to exist?  Isabella, I don't want to see you, I don't want to hear you, just go dig a hole and bury your miserable little corpse in it. Will and Djaq, WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!?  Allan, I loved you 'till the end. you were wonderful and I never lost faith in you. okay, there was a moment during season 2 when I was kinda losing faith in you. but you picked yourself up alright. OH ALL THE GRIEF I HAS.  Guy.  oh Guy. or Gizzy, as I always called you. you got so amazing. the end. okay, not really the end. I need to say something about Meg. I loved Meg. not really for the sake of herself (she was e'er so slightly annoying), but what she did for Guy. I, personally, think it was her that really changed himin the end. all he needed was real, genuine love. all Marian ever did was use him   even if he did kinda deserve it sometimes   when he loved her so. and then there was Meg, who just cared for him with no alterior motives. no one had ever shown him that he could really be loved before. so yay for Meg. and just for the record, it was much sadder when she died than when Marian died. nothing to do with Guy holding her body and weeping. nothing at all. and while we're comparing deaths, you should also know it was worse when Allan died than when Robin died. because Allan died trying to help his friends, all the while thinking that they thought he was a traitor. that, and because Allan was just more awesome than Robin in season 3.  and that's my Robin Hood gurbles.  Because it's too much effort to actually write a proper review.  
On the subject of Robin Hood, I made a youtube playlist.  In case you care.  There's a lot of awesomeness there.  The Guy/Archer/Robin We Will Rock You thing?  So. Much. Win.  The Guy/Marian Anything For Love thing is more of a joke than anything else.  I have a Merlin playlist, too.  It's better than the Robin Hood one.  For numerous reasons.   

Now I'm just going to talk about movies.  Because 1) I watch a lot of movies, and so naturally come across ones worth mentioning, and 2) I can.  

The Eagle
(based on the book Eagle of the Ninth).  Is it just me or is it all of a sudden getting a surge of popularity among certain bloggers (Treskie, Cait & Mime, and Amy)?  I watched it a few months ago (just after I read the book) and was going to do a proper review of it but forgot.  Or more likely just...didn't.  And my memory doesn't span so far that I could watch a movie in November and write acurate review in February (February.  That word vexes me.).  But I did think it quite excellent.  And absolutely no female characters, besides the unnamed ones in the the Seal People's village.  Which makes things a whole lot easier, if ya know what I mean.  I did really like Cottia in the book, but I was okay with her not being in the movie.  In comparison with the book, not as good (*snort* that was a dumb statement.  When is it ever?), but the Marcus/Esca relationship was--I don't want to say "better", but more believable.  More real.  I mean, a Roman soldier buys a Briton as a slave and all of a sudden their the bestest of buddies?  Hmm.  The slower trust and supposed (stress on the supposed bit) betrayal in the movie worked better.  And besides that good point of the movie, it had a half-decent soundtrack, and Jamie Bell as Esca was perfection.  Channing Tatum was good too, but Jamie Bell really was spectacular.  

{via the notebook sisters}
eetz ma Esca & Marcus!{via

So go watch it (and read it too).  Just be sure to watch all the credits and play "Count the Laszlos".  You'll see what I mean when you watch the credits.  Do share with me your results.  I lost count around 25.  
Taken.  This movie has a rather large amount of awesomeness.  Lot's of action and suspense.  And Liam Neeson is in it.  And his jacket reminds me of Nine's.  Very good indeed, and I do recommend it, but with a strong warning for violence (because when Liam Neeson tells you he's gonna kill you, he's gonna kill you.  The End.  For you.  Hehe.  Sorry, that wasn't funny.) and the general theme (his daughter is kidnapped to be sold into protitution, and so the "general theme" is human trafficking).  But it's really not as bad as it sounds.  Well it is, but it isn't.  Ya know?  I'd rate it 14A.  By the way, I've also seen Taken 2 (alternately titled Driving Lessons with Dad).  Almost as good as the first.  Not quite, but almost.  *adds "learn how to shoot a gun" to list of things to do*

For Greater Glory.  A.k.a, the movie in which Lancelot becomes a priest, gets more awesome than he already was, then dies all over again (oops, spoiler).  This movie was pretty magnificent.  An actually good movie about a saint (saints, more like.  Seriously, I've never seen so many saints in one movie.) that was made on an acceptably high budget.  Very well done, with some great actors (Santiago Cabrera (LOOK IT EEZ SIR LANCELOT WITH MOOSTASHEES AND A CASSOCK), Andy Garcia, Oscar Isaac (whom I'm not sure anyone really cares about, but you may recognize him as Prince John from the 2010 Robin Hood), and Peter O'Toole, who has one of the best growls ever.), and a James Horner soundtrack (the guy who did such obscure and unheard-of movies like Titanic, Avatar, Braveheart, The Amazing Spder-man).  Don't even get me started on a couple of the horses in it (be still my beating heart).  'Twas all very heroic.  Heroic is good.

And completely unrelated to everything (but that is what this post is about, or at least it would be if it was about anything), I watch Star Trek now.  Star Trek is cool.  And pathetically 60s.  But Spock is amazing.  We love Spock.  Yes we do.

Oh.  Random link time now. The Bizarre.  The Brilliant (seriously.  I've wanted them to do something together for half of forever.  And I also thought it would be awesome if they did that song.  And there so awesome, they did both of those things at once.  We shall love them forever.).  The Awesome.  The Cool.  The Charlie (an explanation of it's excellence in itself.  "Which sounds incredibly dangerous to me."  Oh Charlie.  I do love you so.).  The Funny.  The Also Funny.  The Also Also Funny.  The Horsey Thing ("That's my horse.  I'm going to die." *snortle*  And the bit when Bradley talks to his horse. XD).  The Bradley Thing.  And to top it all off, the Video That Will Never Ever Get Old.  Not ever.

Fixed my "about me" page. Yays!

All right.  I think I'm done now.  If you actually read all (or any) of this very long, very pointless dumping of words, you're to be applauded.  Heaven knows I wouldn't have bothered to read all that.  So here's a Martin Freeman for you.  
Now I'm gonna go on a rosary making binge or something 'til there's a new pope and hope the world stays intact 'til then.